Gene Forrester

(Source: https://www.tumblr.com/search/toby+moore)

"...it seemed clear that wars were not made by generations and their special stupidities, but that wars were made instead by something ignorant in the human heart" -Gene (pg. 201)

Three Favourite Websites:
http://www.nature.org/
http://www.websudoku.com/
https://www.tumblr.com/

It was hard being just friends with him; Finny was just such an amazing guy.  I wanted to tell him how i really felt, I just found it was so hard to get the truth out to him.  This movie comforts me, it just shows how things could of been, they could of been fun, exciting, and made my life worth living again.  Its too late now, I no longer have the chance to be happy like Ennis and Jack,  It's not like I didn't try to tell him though, "I started to; I nearly did. But something held me back. Perhaps I was stopped by that level of feeling, deeper than though, which contains the truth".  The way Ennis loves Jack in this movie gets me every time, I know I was the same way when it came to Finny, but I was just his friend and that is the difference.  Whenever I feel alone, especially now that Finny is not around, I usually turn this movie on as it is definitely my favourite.  

I've always loved to challenge my academics, I may not be athletic like finny and watch sports like him, but i like to challenge my brain!  I find jeopardy is the perfect way to challenge my brain, and even though it might not make me cool like finny at least its one thing that makes me feel good about myself.  I am a really jealous person and I keep that to myself but when it comes to using my brains I'm better than other people. Now that Finny is gone though I really want to stay away from sports and focus on what's going to get me far in life, and that's my academics.  This school still scares me and the memories of my time here will haunt me forever but I'm happy that I have gotten past it and learned whats important in the future, and jeopardy which shows knowledge and people who don't get recognized for the stuff they've achieved win the prize and for once win the popularity they deserve.

Memories:

My favourite childhood memory would be the tree by the river.  I always look for a tree by the river because it creates a special meaning to me.  The tree that lead to Finny's death still gets me, "It had loomed in my memory as a huge lone spike dominating the river bank, forbidding as an artillery piece, high as a beanstalk." When I continue seeing the tree I find it "...absolutely smaller, shrunken with age," and nothing like the great giant I had remembered.  Maybe the tree had shrunken since my the last time I have seen it, but this is a better example how things can be obscured or emphasized in the memory. 

I still remember my first jump from the tree as if it was yesterday; Finny asked me "Are you still afraid to jump out of the tree?"  I told him "I expect it'll be a very pleasant jump."  However, I really wasn't looking forward to actually have to jump, especially having to be the first jumper.  As I began climbing I felt relieved by having Finny right behind me, and suggesting that we jump off the tree together.  Anyways, we were standing on a limb in which I had been a little further out than Finny, when I turned to have a last couple of words before we jumped, trying to stall as much as I could and then I realized that I was starting to lose my balance.  A moment of panic hit me until Finny's hand sprung out and grabbed my arm, this is why I idolized him, he was truly my hero.  Finally, my balance was restored, I faced the water and shot far out and fell into the deep water.  The Super Suicide Society of the Summer Session was established.

As I walked onto the school grounds of Devon school the memories started to flow in.  These grounds were a museum of the fear I had lived through in my time here.  I felt so vulnerable being back here, I may be older, bigger and stronger physically but mentally I was no different.  It felt like every building, tree, and field had some kind of meaning to me, and none of these were good.  The school looked nicer then it used to,like it had straightened up and was trying to hide everything that happened here in the past, but I still remembered it all.  Some say that your high school days are the best of your lives, but that wasn't the case for me..  The turmoil and decisions I have made may have been long in the past but the consequences will haunt me forever, and at this point I would not like to repeat them, for I don't even like to think of them myself.






Me and Finny were swimming in the river having an awesome time, before we knew it was late and finny and I had missed dinner. Our absence had been noticed by Mr.Prud'homme the following morning he stopped by at our door. He enforced the rules that he knew and missing dinner was one of them. Finny explained that we had been swimming in river, then a wrestling match, then there was a sunset that anyone would want to watch, then friends we had to see on business, he rambled on and on. Sir looked at him and rapidly stared losing his grip on sternness. He pressed his advantage because he could see that Mr.Prud'homme was pleased. Then Finny stopped and started going on about what the real reason why they were swimming and jumping out of the tree. he went on and on about hoe they were practicing for war in case they lower the drafting age. Everything Finny said was true and sincere, he always happened to say what he was thinking. Mr.Prud'homme kinda laughed at finny, he starred at Finny for a while, and that was all there was to it.

One of my fonder memories at Devon was when Finny created the game of Blitzball.  It showed how ingenuitive of a person he was and how he could turn anything into a bunch of fun.  He just made up the rules as he went and showed me why everyone loved him so much and the reason he was popular.  he wasn't just athletic, he was also clever.  I was very jealous of Finny because he was so good at blitzball, and because of this I decided it wasn't fair that he had made the game because he made it so he would be the best, it would bring out the best of his abilities and not mine.  I resented him for being so much better than me.  He may have not tried to hurt me but he really did, and having someone who means so much to you is so much better, it makes you feel bad about yourself.

Why couldn’t I be good at sports, or at least be able to play them without looking like a fool?  Taking the position of assistant senior crew manager wasn’t the greatest decision of mine because that meant I was stuck with working for Cliff Quackenbush.  Hes been pestering me to as why I had taken the job, normally boys usually tolerate the position of assistant, hoping to become the manager the next year.  However we both knew this wasn't the case for me, I was insulted by Cliff and discovered that I was working as assistance crew manager because I could not row.  I knew that usually disabled students filled these certain positions, but I just wanted to feel like I belonged to something, I thought being part of a team would help with that.  My anger starting building up towards him really fast so I hit him hard and we started to fight, falling into the river.  I ended up pulling myself out of the water, really angry and frustrated I walked away and Cliff told me never to come back.  In the end I just really don’t believe sports are for me, in fact I hope I can convince myself to never try and be a part of them again.